In the summer of 2008, I challenged a completely bogus estimated bill from my energy bandits by demanding proof that I had used the amount of electricity they claimed I had been used at my STRAWMAN’s residence, on the basis that there was no legally binding, express agreement between the parties, and according to official statistics, up to 70% of gas and electricity is lost in transit between the supplier and the domicile.
ENERGY BANDITS
Energy Collection Services
PO Box 666
FAKINGHAM
FU2 3BO
8th July 2008
Dear Energy Collection Services,
Re: ###############
With reference to your letter dated 30th June 2008, I am writing to inform you that I will not be in a position to settle the account until the following questions have been answered:
Can you provide me with a legally-binding contract signed by both parties engaged in the transaction?
Can you provide me with proof that ENERGY BANDITS have charged for the amount of electricity used at the above address during the relevant period?
I look forward to hearing from you soon and settling the account in the most expedient manner possible.
Yours sincerely,
STRAWMAN
The energy bandits failed to respond appropriately, but they did immediately hand the account to one of their debt collection agents, which waded straight in with threats of legal proceedings.
RICHBUMS
PO BOX 666
SHADY STREET
SHAFTCHESTER
NW0 6FU
9h August 2008
Dear RICHBUMS,
Re: ############### – £252.16
With reference to your letter dated 6th August 2008, I am writing to inform you that I will not be in a position to settle the account until the following questions have been answered:
Can you provide me with a legally-binding contract signed by both parties engaged in the transaction?
Can you provide me with proof that ENERGY BANDITS have charged for the amount of electricity used at the above address during the relevant period?
I look forward to hearing from you soon and settling the account in the most expedient manner possible.
Yours sincerely,
STRAWMAN
Mrs LEECH
RICHBUMS Office Manager
PO BOX 666
SHADY STREET
SHAFTCHESTER
NW0 6FU
16th October 2008
NOTICE
Dear Mrs LEECH,
Re: ###############
Thank you for your letter dated 2nd September 2008, informing me that the contents of my last letter were received by RICHBUMS on 28th August 2008 and have been passed on to ENERGY BANDITS LIMITED, formerly known as POWERTHIEVES PLC.
Since I have still heard nothing further from ENERGY BANDITS LIMITED about the abovementioned account, please be advised that if I do not hear from them within the next seven days it will be assumed that a valid bill cannot be presented.
Yours sincerely,
STRAWMAN
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT ASSUMPSIT
The account was duly handed right back to the energy bandits, who took six months to decide how they should proceed, before passing it on to one of the most aggressive debt collections agents in England. My STRAWMAN was given seven days to make arrangements to settle the debt in full, along with more severe threats of legal action. This time, they didn’t even bother telling me which robbing bandit they were collecting on behalf of.
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
24 April 2009
NOTICE OF CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: ##################
Thank you for the letter dated 20 April 2009, received at the mailing location below on 24 April 2009.
As the exclusively authorised representative for STRAWMAN, I hereby conditionally accept your proposal to settle any and all outstanding liabilities with your client in the most expedient manner possible, upon receipt of the following:
1. Proof of claim that your client exists in the form of their NAME, ADDRESS and Public Liability Insurance Policy Number.
2. Proof of claim that the alleged liability has been created in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your client.
3. Proof of claim that the alleged liability exists in the form of a verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN.
4. Proof of claim that the alleged debt can be validated in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s consideration, pursuant to said original agreement of the parties.
5. Proof of claim that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of the alleged liability, in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your company.
I look forward to receiving these reasonably requested items within 7 days of this notice, following which I will make the appropriate arrangements to effect payment. However, should MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED dishonour this notice by failing to deliver all of the above items to the mailing location below in the stated time, said dishonour will constitute the agreement of all concerned and affected parties that Proof of Claim cannot be provided upon request and your client’s claim against STRAWMAN is an invalid one.
Please be advised that pursuit of any and all false claims against STRAWMAN may be in contravention of the Statute of Frauds Act 1667, which clearly states:
“IV Noe action shall be brought…F2 whereby to charge the Defendant upon any special promise to answer for the debt default or miscarriages of another person…F3 unlesse the Agreement upon which such Action shall be brought or some Memorandum or Note thereof shall be in writing and signed by the partie to be charged therewith or some other person thereunto by him lawfully authorized.”
For the avoidance of doubt, at no point has STRAWMAN entered into or consented to any Agreement of any kind with MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED, nor does STRAWMAN consent to any Agreement, whether express or implied, with MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED.
Furthermore, the Fraud Act 2006 clearly states that:
“1 Fraud
(1) A person is guilty of fraud if he is in breach of any of the sections listed on subsection (2) (which provide for different ways of committing the offence).
(2) The sections are –
(a) section 2 (fraud by false representation),
(b) section 3 (fraud by failing to disclose information), and
© section 4 (fraud by abuse of position).
(3) A person who is guilty of fraud is liable –
(a) on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 12 months or to a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum (or to both);
(b) on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years or to a fine (or to both).
2 Fraud by false representation
(1) A person is in breach of this section if he –
(a) dishonestly makes false representation, and (b) intends, by making the representation –
(i) to make gain for himself or another, or (ii) to cause loss to another or to expose another to a risk of loss.
(2) A representation is false if –
(a) it is untrue or misleading, and (b) the person making it knows that it is, or might be, untrue or misleading.
(4) A representation may be express or implied.
(5) For the purposes of this section a representation may be regarded as made if it (or anything implying it) is submitted in any form to any system or device designed to receive, convey or respond to communications (with or without human intervention).
Finally, please supply me with your Public Liability Insurance Policy Number, Licence Number and your Tax Identification Number (TIN), in order that I can instigate any and all administrative and/or judicial procedures that I deem to be necessary, in the event that an invalid claim against STRAWMAN is established.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for STRAWMAN
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED; WITHOUT PREJUDICE; NON-ASSUMPSIT.
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
01 May 2009
NOTICE OF DISHONOUR & OPPORTUNITY TO CURE
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE #########
As the Authorised Representative for STRAWMAN, the legal entity formerly resident at STRAWMAN’S MAILING LOCATION, following MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED’S dishonour of the NOTICE OF CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE, mailed to you at the above address on 24 April 2009, I hereby serve NOTICE OF DISHONOUR & OPPORTUNITY TO CURE.
Therefore, please provide me with the following:
1. Proof of claim that the alleged liability has been created in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your client.
2. Proof of claim that the alleged liability exists in the form of a verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN.
3. Proof of claim that the alleged debt can be validated in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s consideration, pursuant to said original agreement of the parties.
4. Proof of claim that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of the alleged liability, in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED.
I look forward to receiving these reasonably requested items within 7 days of this notice, in which case I will make the appropriate arrangements to effect payment. However, should MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED dishonour this notice by failing to deliver all of the above items to the mailing location below in the stated time, said dishonour will constitute the agreement of all concerned and affected parties that Proof of Claim cannot be provided upon request and your client’s claim against STRAWMAN is an invalid one.
Finally, please supply me with your Public Liability Insurance Policy Number, Licence Number and your Tax Identification Number (TIN), in order that I can instigate any and all administrative and/or judicial procedures that I deem to be necessary, should it be established that a false claim has been brought against STRAWMAN.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for STRAWMAN
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT.
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
19 May 2009
NOTICE OF DISHONOUR
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE #########
Following MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED’S dishonour of the NOTICE OF CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE, mailed to you at the above address on 24 April 2009, as well as the NOTICE OF DISHONOUR & OPPORTUNITY TO CURE, delivered on 12 May 2009, Post Office Recorded Delivery Number ###############, I hereby serve NOTICE OF DISHONOUR.
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED have failed to provide me with the following upon request:
1. Proof of claim that the alleged liability has been created in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your client.
2. Proof of claim that the alleged liability exists in the form of a verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN.
3. Proof of claim that the alleged debt can be validated in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s consideration, pursuant to said original agreement of the parties.
4. Proof of claim that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of the alleged liability, in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED.
As previously stipulated, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED’S dishonour constitutes the agreement of all concerned and affected parties that Proof of Claim cannot be provided and your client’s claim against STRAWMAN is an invalid one.
Please supply me with your Public Liability Insurance Policy Number, Licence Number and your Tax Identification Number (TIN), in order that I can instigate any and all administrative and/or judicial procedures that I deem to be necessary, now that it has been established that an invalid claim has been brought against STRAWMAN.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for STRAWMAN
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT.
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
23 June 2009
FINAL NOTICE
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE ##########
In response to your company’s letter dated 18 June 2009, following MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED’S dishonour of the NOTICE OF CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE, mailed to you at the above address on 24 April 2009, as well as the NOTICE OF DISHONOUR & OPPORTUNITY TO CURE, delivered on 12 May 2009 by Post Office Recorded Delivery ################, and the NOTICE OF DISHONOUR dated 19 May 2009, I hereby serve FINAL NOTICE.
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED have repeatedly failed to provide me with the following upon request:
1. Proof of claim that the alleged liability has been created in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your client.
2. Proof of claim that the alleged liability exists in the form of a verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN.
3. Proof of claim that the alleged debt can be validated in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s consideration, pursuant to said original agreement of the parties.
4. Proof of claim that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of the alleged liability, in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED.
Therefore, please be advised that failure to deliver these reasonably requested items within seven (7) days of your receipt of this FINAL NOTICE will constitute the voluntary agreement by acquiescence of MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED that it has attempted to collect an invalid claim against STRAWMAN, and in so doing, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has caused injury to STRAWMAN, in which case, the authorised representative for STRAWMAN is legally entitled to make a commercial claim through the county courts for three times the value of said invalid claim, in the event that it is established that said injury was caused entirely by the false representation of MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED and their officer(s), client(s), partner(s) and/or affiliate(s), and all available private administrative remedies have already been exhausted.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for & Secured Party Creditor to
STRAWMAN (& all derivatives thereof)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
19 August 2009
NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE #########
In response to your company’s unverified claim dated 13 August 2009, I hereby serve NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM.
In spite of your company’s assurance, as expressed in your letter dated 14 July 2009, in which Verity Bitter stated clearly that ‘Your account has now been placed on hold whilst we wait on a copy of the bill from our client’, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has continued to make unverified claims and repeatedly failed to provide the following upon reasonable request:
1. Proof of claim that the alleged liability has been created in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your client.
2. Proof of claim that the alleged liability exists in the form of a verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN.
3. Proof of claim that the alleged debt can be validated in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s consideration, pursuant to said original agreement of the parties.
4. Proof of claim that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of the alleged liability, in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED.
For the avoidance of doubt, through its dishonour of legal notices duly served, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has tacitly agreed that it is attempting to enforce and collect an invalid claim against STRAWMAN, and in so doing, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has caused injury to STRAWMAN, for which STRAWMAN will now commence administrative and/or judicial proceedings to recover three times the value of your company’s invalid claim, plus the alleged principal.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for & Secured Party Creditor to
STRAWMAN (& all derivatives thereof)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT
Errors & Omissions Excepted
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
02 September 2009
NOTICE OF DEMAND FOR PAYMENT
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE ########
Further to your company’s dishonour of NOTICE OF CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE dated 24 April 2009 and FINAL NOTICE dated 23 June 2009, as well as the invalid and unverified claims of MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED, dated 13 and 27 August 2009 respectively, I hereby serve NOTICE OF DEMAND FOR PAYMENT, pursuant to the clearly expressed terms of the NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM dated 19 August 2009, following your company’s repeated failure to deliver the following reasonably requested items:
1. Proof of claim that the alleged liability has been created in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and your client
2. Proof of claim that the alleged liability exists in the form of a verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN
3. Proof of claim that the alleged debt can be validated in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s losses
4. Proof of claim that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of the alleged liability, in the form of an original agreement signed by the authorised representatives for STRAWMAN and MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED, in aggressively and unfairly attempting to collect an invalid claim has caused a commercial injury to STRAWMAN.
Therefore, in order to prevent the initiation of any and all administrative and/or judicial proceedings deemed to be necessary to cure said injury, kindly remit a cheque made payable to STRAWMAN, to the value of EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING & SIXTY PENCE, which must be received at the mailing location below within seven (7) days of your receipt of this notice.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for & Secured Party Creditor to
STRAWMAN (& all derivatives thereof)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT
Errors & Omissions Excepted
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
10 September 2009
NOTICE OF FINAL OPPORTUNITY TO CURE DISHONOUR
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE ########
Thank you for your letter dated 07 September 2009, in which Emily Dupe expresses your company’s agreement that it has caused injury to STRAWMAN by failing to respond appropriately to repeated reasonable requests. Therefore, in good faith, I am willing to place the commercial injury claim against your company on hold for the next seven days, and I hereby serve NOTICE OF FINAL OPPORTUNITY TO CURE DISHONOUR. Please deliver the following items without further delay:
1. An original agreement signed by STRAWMAN and your client, without which, the alleged debt cannot be enforced; or substantive proof that utility providers are exempt from the applicable laws pertaining to the collection of debts.
2. A verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN (for the avoidance of doubt, original and/or photocopied statements of account will not be accepted as verification of the alleged debt).
3. Validation of the alleged debt in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s losses.
4. Proof of claim that your company has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of this disputed liability, in the form of STRAWMAN’s explicit voluntary consent to your company’s third party intervention in this matter.
5. Proof that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED and its client are not in multiple breaches of the Office of Fair Trading’s Final Guidance on Unfair Business Practices July 2003 (updated December 2006).
These items must be received at the mailing location below within seven (7) days of your receipt of this notice. Failure to do so will result in the initiation of any and all further administrative and/or judicial proceedings deemed to be necessary by STRAWMAN, in order to cure the injury caused by your company, an action, for the purposes of which, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has already been duly noticed.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower
Authorised Representative for & Secured Party Creditor to
STRAWMAN (& all derivatives thereof)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED – WITHOUT PREJUDICE – WITHOUT RECOURSE – NON-ASSUMPSIT
Errors & Omissions Excepted
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
22 September 2009
NOTICE OF FINAL DEMAND FOR PAYMENT
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
RE: MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY REFERENCE ########
Further to your company’s dishonour of the NOTICE OF FINAL OPPORTUNITY TO CURE DISHONOUR dated 10 September 2009, I hereby serve NOTICE OF FINAL DEMAND FOR PAYMENT, pursuant to the clearly expressed terms of the NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM dated 19 August 2009, following your company’s repeated failure to deliver the following reasonably requested items:
1. An original agreement signed by STRAWMAN and your client, without which, the alleged debt cannot be enforced; or substantive proof that utility providers are exempt from the applicable laws pertaining to the collection of debts.
2. A verified true bill signed in blue ink by your client and charged to STRAWMAN (for the avoidance of doubt, original and/or photocopied statements of account will not be accepted as verification of the alleged debt).
3. Validation of the alleged debt in the form of the actual accounting of your client’s losses.
4. Proof of claim that your company has the legal right and lawful authority to attempt to enforce collection of this disputed liability, in the form of STRAWMAN’s explicit voluntary consent to your company’s third party intervention in this matter.
5. Proof that MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED and its client are not in multiple breaches of the Office of Fair Trading’s Final Guidance on Unfair Business Practices July 2003 (updated December 2006).
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED, in aggressively and unfairly attempting to collect an invalid claim has caused a commercial injury to STRAWMAN. Therefore, in order to prevent the initiation of any and all administrative and/or judicial proceedings deemed to be necessary to cure said injury, kindly remit a cheque made payable to STRAWMAN, to the value of EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING & SIXTY PENCE, which must be received at the mailing location below within seven (7) days of your receipt of this notice.
Without malice or mischief, in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower©
Secured Party Creditor to & Authorised Representative for
STRAWMAN (& all derivatives thereof)
All Rights Reserved – Without Prejudice – Without Recourse – Non-Assumpsit
Errors & Omissions Excepted
The interlopers refused to take the commercial injury claim seriously and threatened legal action if the alleged debt was not settled within seven days of the date of a notice I received four days later, so I decided it was time to serve the Common Law Copyright Notice.
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
28 September 2009
WARNING NOTICE OF MULTIPLE TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENTS
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
Dear STEVE MACFUCK,
Re: STRAWMAN™ (& all derivatives thereof)
I hereby serve a WARNING NOTICE OF MULTIPLE TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENTS, pertaining to the issue of invalid bills and valuable securities, dated 18 June, 30 July and 13 August 2009 respectively, the latter having been issued by ALLIANCE & LEICESTER/TRANS CASH in the name of STRAWMAN at STRAWMAN’S MAILING LOCATION, for and on behalf of MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED.
Following service of the NOTICE OF CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE dated 24 April 2009, your company has repeatedly failed to validate or verify its client’s losses upon reasonable request, while MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has not provided satisfactory evidence of the appropriate legal authority and/or the voluntary consent required in order to issue bills to STRAWMAN, a lawfully trademarked name, or to instruct ALLIANCE & LEICESTER/TRANS CASH to issue the above referenced securities in said trademarked name.
Therefore, pursuant to the terms of the enclosed Common Law Copyright Notice, any and all further infringements following your company’s receipt of this notice, will result in charges of ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING being levied against MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED per unauthorised usage, nunc-pro-tunc.
Any and all administrative and/or judicial proceedings deemed to be necessary in order to cure the injury caused by further infringements will be issued without any further warning.
Without malice, mischief, ill will, frivolity or vexation; in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower©
Secured Party Creditor to & Authorised Representative for
STRAWMAN (& all derivatives thereof)
All Rights Reserved – Without Prejudice – Without Recourse – Non-Assumpsit
Errors & Omissions Excepted
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
02 October 2009
INVOICE
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
STRAWMAN™ TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENTS
Pursuant to the WARNING NOTICE, dated 28 September 2009, and the Common Law Copyright Notice, dated 16 March 2009, both delivered to you at the above referenced address by Royal Mail Recorded Delivery; following the receipt of your company’s LETTER BEFORE ACTION, dated 30 September 2009, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has incurred liabilities of ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING for each of the following trademark infringements:
Letter dated 20 April 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 18 June 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Letter dated 14 July 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 30 July 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 13 August 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Letter dated 30 September 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
SUBTOTAL 1 – SIX MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Pursuant to the clearly expressed terms of the NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM, dated 19 August 2009 and served by Royal Mail Recorded Delivery, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY CREDIT LIMITED has incurred default charges of:
SUBTOTAL 2 – EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING
TOTAL CHARGES NOW DUE – SIX MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING
Kindly remit a cheque made payable to STRAWMAN to the value of SIX MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING, which must be received at the mailing location below within ten (10) days of your receipt of this notice.
Without malice, mischief, ill will, frivolity or vexation; in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower©
Secured Party Creditor to & Authorised Representative for
STRAWMAN™ (& all derivatives thereof)
All Rights Reserved – Without Prejudice – Without Recourse – Non-Assumpsit
Errors & Omissions Excepted
The interloper finally realised the potential peril of their predicament and I received a letter informing me that they had passed the account back to the energy bandits; they would no longer be atempting to enforce their invalid claim, which left the path clear for the enforcement of my valid claim against them.
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
15 October 2009
NOTICE OF OPPORTUNITY TO CURE DEFAULT
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
STRAWMAN™ TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENTS
Pursuant to the WARNING NOTICE, dated 28 September 2009, the Common Law Copyright Notice, dated 16 March 2009, and the INVOICE dated 02 October 2009, all delivered to you by Royal Mail Recorded Delivery; MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has defaulted on liabilities of ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING for each of the following trademark infringements:
Letter dated 20 April 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 18 June 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Letter dated 14 July 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 30 July 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 13 August 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Letter dated 30 September 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
SUBTOTAL 1 – SIX MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Pursuant to the clearly expressed terms of the NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM, dated 19 August 2009 and served by Royal Mail Recorded Delivery, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has also failed to pay default charges of:
SUBTOTAL 2 – EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING
TOTAL CHARGES NOW DUE – SIX MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING
A cheque made payable to STRAWMAN, to the value of SIX MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING, or an appropriate offer of settlement, must be received at the mailing location below within twenty (20) days of the date of this notice. Failure to do so will result in further default charges, in accordance with the terms of the “Self-Executing Security Agreement in Event of Unauthorised Use”, as set forth within the above referenced Common Law Copyright Notice, as well as the initiation of any and all administrative and/or judicial proceedings deemed to be necessary by STRAWMAN™, in order to cure the commercial injuries caused by your company.
Without malice, mischief, ill will, frivolity or vexation; in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower©
Secured Party Creditor to & Authorised Representative for
STRAWMAN™(& all derivatives thereof)
All Rights Reserved – Without Prejudice – Without Recourse – Non-Assumpsit
Errors & Omissions Excepted
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
STEVE MACFUCK, MANAGING DIRECTOR
MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED
SHAFTWAY HOUSE
SHAFTWAY BUSINESS CENTRE
SHAFTCHESTER
ROBBING COUNTY FU66 6FU
25 October 2009
NOTICE OF FINAL OPPORTUNITY TO CURE DEFAULT
NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL
NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT
STRAWMAN™ TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENTS
Pursuant to the WARNING NOTICE, dated 28 September 2009, the Common Law Copyright Notice, dated 16 March 2009, and the INVOICE dated 02 October 2009, all delivered to you by Royal Mail Recorded Delivery; MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has defaulted on liabilities of ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING for each of the following trademark infringements:
Letter dated 20 April 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 18 June 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Letter dated 14 July 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 30 July 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Bill & Valuable Security dated 13 August 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Letter dated 30 September 2009 – ONE MILLION POUNDS STERLING
SUBTOTAL 1 – SIX MILLION POUNDS STERLING
Pursuant to the clearly expressed terms of the NOTICE OF COMMERCIAL INJURY CLAIM, dated 19 August 2009 and served by Royal Mail Recorded Delivery, MACFUCK DEBT RECOVERY LIMITED has also failed to pay default charges of:
SUBTOTAL 2 – EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING
TOTAL CHARGES NOW DUE – SIX MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING
A cheque made payable to STRAWMAN, to the value of SIX MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED & NINETY SIX POUNDS STERLING, or an appropriate offer of settlement, must be received at the mailing location below within ten (10) days of the date of this notice. Failure to do so will result in “triple damages”, in accordance with the terms of the “Self-Executing Security Agreement in Event of Unauthorised Use”, as set forth within the above referenced Common Law Copyright Notice, as well as the initiation of any and all administrative and/or judicial proceedings deemed to be necessary by STRAWMAN™, in order to cure the commercial injuries caused by your company.
Without malice, mischief, ill will, frivolity or vexation; in sincerity and honour,
By: Freeman-on-the-Land, Upper-Case: Lower©
Secured Party Creditor to & Authorised Representative for
STRAWMAN™(& all derivatives thereof)
All Rights Reserved – Without Prejudice – Without Recourse – Non-Assumpsit
Errors & Omissions Excepted
To Be Continued…_
